Sometimes when I'm walking home, I stop off at a particular library to browse their magazines. There's an elderly woman who comes there who is completely off her rocker.
When I saw her and I wished her Happy New Year she said to me, "Will you do me a big favour?"
"What's that?" I said.
"Buy a lottery ticket and rub it on your arse and you'll be very lucky!"
I'm definitely going to get a lottery ticket but I don't know if I can be arsed though to rub it on my arse.
Wish me luck, everyone!
Related articles: Does Luck Really Exist?; What is Insanity?; A Good Omen
NB: Slang glossary:
Arsing around = messing about
Off your rocker = crazy
Arse = buttocks.
Arsed = bothered